very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
He kissed a someone with a penis
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
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