Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
Are we still banned from the library?
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
Randomize
