we have pet lesbian snakes
On imdb the canadians say It's amazing
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
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