White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
I'm at about main and main street
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
Randomize
