I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
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