All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
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