i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
