D3 body, D1 cock
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
No more Irish car bombs ever.
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
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