great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
you had me at cake vodka
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
