My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
Whatever, you're gonna have to break it to mom that the reason I was so drunk at Christmas dinner is because she wouldn't stop asking me why I don't have a boyfriend
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
Randomize
