I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
