Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
