When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
