I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
Some guy was coming onto me last night and in the middle of it all he said: 'It literally says this on my birth certificate: Francis Coburt: The Guy Who Can Pull Two Beers Outta His Pants Like Magic.'
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
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