barbara walters just said penis...
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
