but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
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