What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
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