am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
Randomize
