for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
Randomize
