I cannot find my penis.
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
two words: eviction party
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
Randomize
