I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
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