why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
Randomize
