ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
My favorite part of the day is the 2 seconds of ignorance you have when you first wake up. Right before you remember where your mouth was last night.
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
Randomize
