Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
Randomize
