Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
Randomize
