There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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