Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
