you're like a bully in the Christmas story
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
Randomize
