I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
Randomize
