were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
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