We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
sex in a hospital.. check
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Randomize
