I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
Randomize
