Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
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