Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
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