Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
