My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
Randomize
