she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
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