i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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