I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
Randomize
