If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
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