so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
The Olympian is in my bed
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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