Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
Randomize
