he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
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