gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
Randomize
