turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
Randomize
