the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
Randomize
