Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
they call him Oral-B. enough said
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
Randomize
