What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize
