I think i ate a live goldfish last night. that i caught with my hand in a kiddie pool. my stomach really hurts.
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
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