let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
my nose is crying tears of wow.
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Randomize
