we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
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