Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
Randomize
