You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
New invention idea: vibrating tampons
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
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