When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
Randomize
